课程标题：东营学习sat

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这是2008年10月的SAT考题，笔者的一名学生凭这篇作文一举拿下满分12分。

但是从第一段就可以看出作者重复性的句子太多了，句式缺少一定的变化。

6分作文：（4段落2个例子）

Even if in the past we made mistakes, this will only make wiser people out of us and guide us to where we are supposed to be.

综上所言，在第一段，你应该表明自己的观点（中心论点），同时要提及将要在正文里列举的例子，在表明中心观点前，讲几句“废话”来慢慢过渡到你的中心论点上。

Assignment: Is it true that the most memorable days of our lives are those in which we underwent some personal transformation or awakening? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observvation.

所以作者认为在许多人看来，尽管这些高层的dollar value曾经很显赫，但在同行和雇员看来，他们是没有价值的。

Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced.

首先，他会仔细阅读作文的第一段，据此得出该考生的语言能力，然后他会寻找作文的论点是什么，扫描该作文使用的例子是否能充分证明论点，最后，他会浏览作文的结尾，以保证从总体上把握该作文是否完整。

或者说：如果人们只关注成功，就很容易忽视失败给人生带来的正面意义。

Every age, and every culture has its heroes. In some times and places the heroes have been gods or god-like creatures from mythology, or mortals apparently much above the mass of humanity. But today,sports stars, film stars, and political leaders with clay feet have replaced Ram, Achilles, Cleopatra, and Alexander. In fact there are almost no heroes of any age that can withstand our tendency to debunk. There are figures who will always be in the history books, but they won't always be regarded as heroes.

总结段，文章把三个方面收入囊中，概括了三类人的一个共性：行动反映他们的真实本性与想法（their actions reveal their true nature and intentions）。

文章结构清楚，段落过渡自然（如第三段的第一句话起到了承上启下的作用，即My sister is a contrast to Jewel's effective combination of talent and motivation.）。作者具有一定的驾驭语言的能力（如wither from neglect等），句式结构多变，该简单就简单，该用笔墨的地方就用笔墨，而且全文没有文法上的错误。

2）句使用的依然是定语从句

SAMPLE ESSAYS WITH SCORES

作者甚至提到了自己痛哭流涕这样具体的无关细节，同时又异想天开说美国总统上火星等等，这些都和文章的主题无关。

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